2. A Man before marriage is - Superman. After Marriage - Gentleman. 5 yeasr Later - Watchman. 10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.
3. Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho... taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum... " UNMARRIED" ho.
4. Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho..... KHUSH RAHO
5. Why love marriage is better dan Arranged???? B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".
6. Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.
7. A man gave an add in Matrimonial column "PATNI CHAHIYE"He got 1000 replies all saying:- " Meri Le Ja...!" ''Meri Le Ja...!''
8. Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"Manager: "What can I do?Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."
9. Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man.
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Ek patni ne apne pati ko patra likha.Unhone patra likhte samay kahin bhi viram chinh nahin lagaya.Patra likhne ke baad jab unhein es vishay mein dhyan aata hai to weih jaldi-jaldi andaze se viram chinh (full stop) laga deti hein.To weh patra is prakar hai:Priye Raj,
Sadar Pranam.
Aapne kai dinon se koi patra nahin likha meri saheli Pooja ko. Naukri se nikal diya hai hamari gai ne. Bachra diya hai uncle ji ne. Cigarette pini shuru kar di hai maine.Bahut patra dale pur tum nahin aaye kabootar ke bache.Billi kha gaye hai ghee.Chutti se aate samay le aana ek khoobsoorat aurat. Meri saheli ban gayi hai Manisha Koirala.Is waqt T.V. pur dance ker rahi hai hamari murgi.Bech di hai tumhari maa.Tumhein yaad karti hai padosan.Mujhe tang karti hai hamari jamin.Sarson ug aai hai chachi ji ke sir pur.Phora ho gaya hai mere paun mein.Chot lag gaye hai tumhari chitthi ko.Har waqt tarasti hun Ramesh ke liye.Sandesh hai ki weih bhi saath mein aaye nahin.To mein naaraz ho jayoongi bhaiya se. Zarroor milker aana.
Aapki Patni,
Kalpana.
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A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.
As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, " Let's start with the boys first."
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us.. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next. "
This continues...
and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub. "
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please. "
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;
Yes you... "
Most beautiful girl of the class:
"Madam, my name is 'Bubble', and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."
Teacher Fainted!!!
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The Detective
A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective... The cheapest one he could find.
This is his report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he.. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee
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